3 Oct 2007

Uncle Jay Explains the News

posted in: public affairs, quirky | 0

Thanks go to my sister Nancy, who forwarded a link to an Uncle Jay Explains the News video—explaining the system by which Congress takes well-earned recesses. Uncle Jay was news to me, but he’s hilarious—very smart, and an equal-opportunity acid-wit. I immediately started watching a bunch more. One of the best is his shtick on, er, blogs.

If you don’t know Uncle Jay, take a few minutes and go watch.

Oh, and when you’ve watched some of those, take in a few of Walt Handelsman’s animated editorial cartoons.

“An eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a façade of order—and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order.” —Douglas Hofstadter

2 Oct 2007

Book Signing and Reunion in Ohio

posted in: personal news | 0

I spent last weekend in Sandusky, Ohio, where I spent a fair number of hours at the Kalahari Waterpark Resort, signing books—and also enjoyed a reunion with a lot of high school classmates, many of whom I had not seen in forty years. Everyone looked just the same (yeah, just like I do). I sort of, almost recognized a lot of people—especially after we all put name badges on. Everyone greeted me warmly, a little bit like a homecoming celebrity (strange, but nice, I thought); and I finally found out why everyone recognized me so easily. Turns out, a new hometown newspaper whose existence I hadn’t even been aware of had run a nice front-page spread on me that week! I had no idea what people were talking about when they referred to the newspaper article—but finally, just as I was packing up to leave, I was given a copy. Nice!

My wife wasn’t there, so the mice got to play: during the music and dance part of the reunion, I finally danced with all those girls I was too shy to ask to dance with me when I was in high school! (Danced with them all at once, more or less.) The book signing went very well; a few people (not classmates) had even come looking for me, because I’d posted info on my web site. That’s not something that happens every day. I even sold enough books to cover my airfare!

Plus, I brought back five 12-packs of Vernors ginger ale. (Yay!) I had it neatly and securely duct-taped together, but the airline made me buy a box from them to put it in. (Boo!) Hey, Vernors—you make great ginger ale, so how about selling it in New England, so I don’t have to keep doing this, eh?

The following pretty well expresses how progress on my followup book to Sunborn is coming:

“Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.” —Gene Fowler

26 Sep 2007

Incredibly Stupid Engineering by Whirlpool

posted in: personal news, quirky, technology | 0

We have a Whirlpool dishwasher that’s about two years old. It was a gift to us, and we like it very much. But last night it developed its first problem. I found it partway through the wash cycle, not running, with the Clean light blinking. It would respond to nothing I did, including pressing the Cancel button.

Well, my first approach to fixing anything I don’t understand is to google it. That I did, and I found lots of pages on the problem, including one that linked to a tech video showing all of the many things that might be behind it. Fortunately, near the end of that video, they gave the secret code you need to bring your appliance out of its coma. (Press Heated Dry, then Normal, then Heated Dry, then Normal. Voila! Machine back to life.) But that’s not the stupid part.

Here’s the stupid part: The Whirlpool engineers included a test routine in the software that runs the dishwasher. About 8 minutes into the wash cycle, it tests the water temperature to verify that the heating coil is heating the water properly. If it’s not, the dishwasher….well, before I tell you, what do you think it does? Do you think it flashes an alert and completes the cycle making the best of the hot water as it is?

Too logical? Do you think it comes to a complete stop—right in the middle of the wash cycle—and freezes its controls so that nothing works? You win! There you are, with partially washed, detergent-covered dishes, and a machine that has locked itself up until a repairman arrives (or until you google the problem and learn the secret code, whichever comes first). This is by design! In fact, the first tech page I found said, in no uncertain terms, The consumer will not be able to restore operation. And the reason for this intentional lockup (one more time)? The water isn’t heating properly.

The moronicity of this is mind-boggling, and is only highlighted by a note at the end of the video: in later models, in order to reduce the number of nuisance lockups, they changed the software so that it only freezes the machine if the problem occurs three times in a row. So it’s three strikes and you’re out—but we’re not going to tell you about the first two strikes! Oops—your bad! Call a repairman!

Now, call me naïve, call me an optimist, but if it were me designing the software, I’d have it finish washing the fracking dishes, you idiot! And then it could inform us of the problem. (Sir or Madame, our sensors indicate your wash water might not have reached an optimum temperature. We suggest you have this condition looked at.)

Sometimes I am just amazed at the stupidity of the engineering in American-made appliances. How did we ever make it to the Moon? Honestly. (And don’t even get me started about the half-cent gasket in our Calypso—by Whirlpool!—clothes washer that caused flooding twice on our new laundry-room floor.)

Really. Don’t get me started.

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.” —W. Somerset Maugham

22 Sep 2007

New SF on TV: Chuck and Journeyman

posted in: science fiction | 0

I’m not normally the first to see new TV shows, but acting on a tip from my friend Craig, I’ve already recorded and watched two new SF shows from NBC, Chuck and Journeyman. They premier on network broadcast next week, but they’re available now for free viewing without commercials! In our area, they’re on Comcast’s free “On Demand,” and you can record them like any other show. (You have to dig a bit to find them, though.) I think you can also stream them online, though to me that’s not nearly as appealing.

My wife and I watched Chuck the other night, and loved it! I did not altogether expect to, because the premise of a computer nerd who accidentally downloads the contents of the U.S. intelligence network into his brain seemed—well, a little thin. And I suppose it is. But the story was written with such wit and humor, was so funny and well acted, that we were both hooked and can’t wait for the next episode. On a scale of 1-5 secret government data discs, I give this one a 4, easy.

Journeyman‘s premise is a journalist who, inexplicably and involuntarily, gets zinged back and forth in time—how and by what force, we don’t know—seemingly for the purpose of his setting something straight for someone in need. Summarized that way, it doesn’t sound too original. A little like Quantum Leap, but without the channeling of another person. Again, the writing and the acting catalyzed everything; Journeyman was engrossing and moving, and handled the built-in “Honey, where the hell have you been for two days?!” problem with believability and finesse. On a scale of 1-5 time machines, I give this one, too, a 4. It might be a tougher premise to sustain, but I hope they get a chance to try.

We all know that good shows sometimes die early if they don’t get the right buzz, so I hope you go and check these out. Next up, the new Bionic Woman, which I understand features not just one but several actors from Battlestar Galactica.

“We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.” —rejection slip allegedly from a Chinese economics journal

22 Sep 2007

Book Signing, September 29-30

posted in: personal news, science fiction, writing | 0

I almost forgot to post here (because I put it on my web site), I’m doing another book signing in Sandusky, Ohio, at the Kalahari Resort. This will happen the afternoon of Saturday, Sept. 29 and briefly again Sunday morning. (Details) The occasion, aside from the fact that I had a great signing there in July, is that my Huron High School reunion is being held there that weekend. I haven’t seen many of my classmates in several decades, so I’m going out for that—and the book signing will, I hope, help to defray the costs of the visit.

“I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately I am inspired at 9 o’clock every morning.” —William Faulkner

17 Sep 2007

Sunborn Excerpt Now Online!

posted in: Sunborn, writing | 0

By popular request (well, by request of one or two people, anyway), I have uploaded the first three chapters of Sunborn, so you can get a taste of what’s coming. I finished the final final final drop-dead revisions on the early chapters last week, and it should be going into production shortly. (Going into production, of course, means that it’ll be out in a year. But even if I drop dead now, the book will survive me. Which, er, ought to be some consolation.)

Anyway, check it out, on my website at starrigger.net.

“I always do the first line well, but I have trouble doing the others.” —Moliere

17 Sep 2007

Beyond the Forest and Over the King’s Highway

posted in: personal news, quirky | 0

We’ve been threatening to do it all summer, and today we did it—Allysen and I rollerbladed all the way to the end of the bike path in Bedford, and back. It was about 17 miles roundtrip. We had done it once before, a few years ago, and weren’t sure we’d ever manage it again. But today we made the trek in just a couple of hours.

This took us well past the Forest Perilous, and even way beyond the Lexington Wall. We crossed through the King’s Courtyard, fallen into disrepair now, since there’s been no king for centuries. (Some know it as Lexington Center.) And we passed over the old King’s Highway (known to the local folk as I-95). It’s now teeming with hard-carapaced orcs and trolls, speeding along on their evil business. We moved quickly on, before anyone could notice us. Finally, at the far end of the trail, we came to a reminder of the old rail line we were skating on—a nicely displayed old Budd railcar, along with a bike shop and some benches.

Upon our return home, we promptly made some frozen margaritas to celebrate our odyssey!

“One of the most difficult things is the first paragraph. I have spent many months on a first paragraph, and once I get it, the rest just comes out very easily.” —Gabriel Garcia Marquez

13 Sep 2007

Dark Matter Galaxies, and the Loss of a Literary Star

posted in: science, science fiction, space | 0

Space.com reports the apparent discovery of “Hobbit” galaxies—tiny, ultrafaint, dwarf galaxies in our local group—which appear to consist mostly of dark matter. Though they were observed by their stars, which presumably are made of normal matter, gravitational calculations based on the movements of the stars indicate that the galaxies are 100 times more massive than the estimated total mass of their stars. The rest? Dark matter, more than likely. The findings will be published in the Astrophysical Journal in November.

Meanwhile, you may already have heard that Madeleine L’Engle died on September 6, 2007, another great loss to the book world. She is best known, of course, for the A Wrinkle in Time series of young adult novels, but she wrote many other books, as well. (Her official web site)

I never got to meet her, though we exchanged some correspondence once. Paradoxically, I didn’t discover her books at a young age, but as an adult. (Someone tried to turn me on to A Wrinkle in Time at a particularly sensitive age—when I didn’t want to read “YA” and I didn’t want my SF to read like fantasy. So that effort failed. But I tried the book years later, and that time it clicked. Marvelous.)

Farewell, creator of Mrs. Who and all the others. And thank you.

“You have to write whichever book it is that wants to be written. And then, if it’s going to be too difficult for grown-ups, you write it for children.” —Madeleine L’Engle

12 Sep 2007

Strange and Exotic Robots on TED

posted in: quirky, science | 0

Dutch artist Theo Jansen has created an extraordinarily odd set of moving sculptures, which any normal person would want to call robots, though they have no intelligence and are purely mechanical creations. He speaks of them as being “Strandbeests,” and when you watch, you will understand why. Take a look; it’s about an eight-minute video. I’ll wait.

You can also view it in a separate browser window and read some background info on it. While you’ve got that open, check out some of the other videos listed in the TED sidebar. (TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design. That’s the name of the web site that presents these pieces.) They’re all of a scientific and/or artistic bent.

“When I’m not working I sometimes think I know something, but when I’m working, it is quite clear I know nothing.” —John Cage

12 Sep 2007

Return of the Ultimate SF Writing Workshop

posted in: science fiction, writing | 0

Craig Gardner and I are running another intensive writing workshop this fall, starting on October 15, at the Pandemonium SF Bookstore in Cambridge, Massachusetts. (Obviously, this will be of interest mainly to people who live within easy commuting distance of Cambridge! But maybe some of my blog readers fall into that group.) It’s aimed at aspiring professional writers, and runs the gamut of subjects, for ten successive Monday evening meetings. It’s also intended as an intensive workshopping experience: learning to work as a group to provide mutual support. (Our last group went off and formed their own writing group afterward.)

All the details are online at http://www.starrigger.net/workshop.htm.

“A writer is a man who, embarking upon a task, does not know what to do.” —Donald Barthelme

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