Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and All That

It’s been a busy time here, as I’m sure it has been for many of you. This will probably be my last entry for 2007, because my family and I are in the throes of getting ready not just for the holidays, but for a two-week trip to London! It’s been about twenty years since I was last in England, and it’ll be very interesting to go back. It’s in some ways a crazy time to go—the exchange rate and costs are insane, and we’re all absurdly busy—but we have a place to stay with family, and that really is what’s making it possible. Plus, as my wife points out, chances to take this kind of trip as a family are rapidly vanishing: one daughter in college and the other headed that way soon enough. I’m sure it’ll be a fine and memorable time. (But there’s no internet access where we’re staying, so chances are I won’t be posting during the trip.)

Writing update: For the last couple of months I’ve been wrestling with the storyline I’m trying to unfold in The Reefs of Time. My old outline didn’t really hold up, and I’ve been rethinking the direction of my story following the end of Sunborn (which of course you haven’t read, because it hasn’t been published yet). Looks like the plot is taking some unexpected turns—unexpected to me, that is. Figuring out what it means is taking some time. Still, I like the new direction, and it’s sparked a new interest in the story on my part. While that’s been going on, I just wrapped up the SF writing workshop I taught with Craig Gardner. We both thought we had a terrific group again, and were excited to see so much promise in their work.

As always, there are many things I’ve been intending to write about but haven’t gotten to. So I’m going to sign off with just this news item:

Young chimps beat college students in memory tests! How can you not love this story? In short-term memory tests on a computer, some young chimpanzees bested their young adult human competition. Go monkeys! You read it here first. (Actually, you probably didn’t. But if I’d written this sooner, you might have.)

“We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.” —Robert Wilensky

Autographed Books Make Great Gifts!

posted in: personal news, writing 0

Late as usual, as one of my high school teachers liked to say to me. Still, I hope, better late than never.

This is my not-quite-annual reminder that if you’re searching for an excellent gift for that special someone, there’s nothing quite like a personalized, autographed book direct from the author. (That would be me.) Clearly I’m way behind the curve on Hanukkah. (But while I’m on the subject, Happy Hanukkah, everyone!) But for Christmas shoppers, it’s not too late.

If you’d like to peruse the books that I have available for sale, go to my web site: http://www.starrigger.net and click on book covers for information about the books themselves. Click Bookstore, and then Price List to check on availability of various titles. You can order by email, if you use Paypal. Or to order by snailmail, print out the order blank and send it with a check.

I hope you are all having a great December. I got our blue LED lights strung up on the big pine tree in front of our house yesterday, so I’m finally, sorta-kinda getting into the mood myself!

It’s surprisingly hard to take a picture of an outdoor Christmas tree,
especially when you’re hopping around
because you didn’t take time to put a coat on!

“The two most engaging powers in an author are to make new things familiar and familiar things new.” —William Makepeace Thackeray

Update on the Weirdness

Well, first I’ll update on the copyright infringement weirdness, just by repeating what I already said in the comments section to the last post: The guy never answered my email, forwarded through his domain-name service, but he did take my story down. And not just my story; he took the whole blog down! And recreated it, under a new name (but same URL). Odd. But life is odd.

And speaking of odd, it’s time for another roundup of links to the stupid, the strange, the weird and fun:

New Scientist has a couple of interesting columns, starting with a roundup of strange products. The first comes under the heading of, as they put it, fruitloopiness: bottled water that has had music played to it, so that it might better calm your inner feng shui. That would be H2Om, the world’s first “vibrationally charged, interactive water.” You gotta see it to believe it.

On a more down-to-earth note, also from New Scientist: Do fish get thirsty? Maybe…maybe not… It all depends on the kind of fish.

Now, I’m not a Mac lover and I’m not a Mac hater. I simply note that the Mac user in the family seems to gripe about poor performance and annoying quirks from her machine at about the same rate as the PC users. I personally find the Mac incomprehensible. But I intend no political or religious statement with the link to this video; it’s just too funny not to point to: Why Macs suck.

If you have friends, and lots of them, and you like to bike together, you gotta have a Conference bike. Don’t worry, it’s only a little over $12,000! Isn’t that worth it for a tricycle made for seven? They even have a video, if you’re interested. (Turn the sound down, though, unless you want the music to drive you mad.)

But seriously now, the gift-giving season is nearly upon us. And you should not go into it without being armed with Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide. I’m eyeing the Flying Alarm Clock, myself.

And saving the best for last. Be Rocky the Flying Squirrel! (But wait until your kids are grown up and able to support themselves, in case you, er…well, you know.) This looks like so much fun, I have to do it someday. Fly like a bird! Or at least like a flying squirrel.

My writing quote of the day definitely applies to me:

“Very few writers really know what they are doing until they’ve done it.” —Anne Lamott

Copyright Infringement Strikes Close to Home

Before I start: One reason I haven’t posted for a while is that I’ve actually been focusing on working out some things about the storyline of the new book—not Sunborn, but the following book, The Reefs of Time (working title). It’s been sending out shoots in some unexpected directions, which I guess is consistent with the theme of The Chaos Chronicles—but disconcerting.

There are a number of things I’ve been meaning to write about here, but what actually kicked me into gear is a just-discovered case of copyright infringement involving one of my short stories. I have several stories up for free on my web site, and each of them has at the top a copyright notice, along with a plain language statement that it is not permissible to reproduce them elsewhere on the web. Nevertheless, someone named “Jim” has chosen to do just that.

The story in question, “Shapeshifter Finals,” was published in 1995 in the anthology, Warriors of Blood and Dream, edited by Roger Zelazny. I’ve had it up for readers to enjoy for quite a few years. Earlier today, I did something I’ve done from time to time but not lately, which is to take a line at random from my online works and run a search to see if anyone has stolen the source. To my astonishment, I came up positive with this story. It’s been posted online, in its entirety, on a blog called Tales and Tributes. The blog owner apparently lifted it directly from my website, and gave me credit as the author but neglected to ask for permission, or to reproduce the copyright notice—thus giving the false impression that the work is in the public domain. The work is not in the public domain; it is copyright © 1995 by Jeffrey A. Carver.

I would contact the blog owner, but the thing is, “Jim” has no contact information on his blog. Apparently he doesn’t want to be contacted. Another thing is, according to a Whois.com lookup, the domain name, jimblogs.net, was created on the very same day my story was posted. How odd is that?

I have contacted the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA) to see if they can assist me in dealing with this, and I’m sure we’ll get to the bottom of it eventually. But in the meantime, if any of you out there in blogland know anything about jimblogs.net or “Jim,” I would appreciate hearing from you.

“The problem is when you’re not writing you don’t know if you’re lying fallow or if you’ll never write again.” —Norman Mailer

Firefox on the Mac and My Blog

posted in: blogging, personal news 0

I spent a couple of hours tonight trying to isolate the problem (which is more widespread than I had realized) of my blog causing Firefox on the Mac to freeze. It wasn’t the most recent entry that was at fault at all. It seemed I was offending Firefox/Mac in several ways. As nearly as I can tell, Firefox/Mac:

  • Doesn’t like it when I have italics in the title of a post
  • Doesn’t like it (sometimes) when I have an Amazon ad for a book in a post
  • Doesn’t like it (sometimes) when I use blockquote in text

It took a while to root all of those out, or at least those going back a little over a year. None of them caused trouble in Firefox/Windows or Safari/Mac (that I know of). Anyway, this blog no longer freezes my wife’s Mac, which is a hopeful sign.

I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who has had trouble viewing my blog in the past. If you could leave a comment letting me know if you can view it now, that would be very helpful.

Thanks!

Paradigms to the Right of Us, Paradigms to the Left of Us

Okay, I haven’t written an entry in over two weeks. Time to get going. One reason I’ve been away is that I’ve started to pick up some traction on the new book (working title, Reefs of Time), and didn’t want to distract myself from that. On the other hand, my last entry (or something, anyway) caused both my wife’s and my brother’s browsers to freeze when they view my blog in Firefox on a Mac, and because I have no idea what could be causing that, it sort of took the wind out of my sails, blog-wise. If any of you out there has a clue what could cause that, please let me know!

Anyway, since I last posted, a lot of notable events have occurred. Doris Lessing won the Nobel Prize in Literature! Who would have thought they’d ever give the Nobel to someone who wrote science fiction?! Woo-hoo! (I haven’t actually read her books, though, so I can’t really make any comment on the appropriateness of their choosing her for the prize, instead of, oh, say, me.)

Also the Red Sox have made it to the World Series again, which is an equally drastic paradigm shift. Now, I really pay very little attention to baseball. When I flew from Cleveland to Boston recently, my seatmate asked me if I was an Indians or a Red Sox fan. I replied that I only paid attention if the Sox actually made it to the playoffs. She looked at me in amusement, tapped the newspaper, and said, “They’re in the playoffs.” So after that, I started paying attention. I even watched a couple of games! I’m even planning to watch some of the first World Series game tonight! (This is the biggest paradigm shift of the three, I think. I watched the Indians on TV, growing up, but watching professional sports on TV is something I almost never do now.)

And for one last paradigm bender: What do you think would happen if a hungry, VW-sized polar bear happened upon a leashed sled dog? Maybe not what you think. Watch this slide show: Polar Bear and Husky.

Then read about the Hippo and Tortoise.

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” —Groucho Marx

Dragonbreath and Buckbeak

posted in: personal news, quirky 0

I said earlier that I’d post some pix of us on our cool mopeds when I had some. Well, here they are!

Allysen’s Dragonbreath (a.k.a Dracos, a.k.a. Buglet) is definitely the Town Car of mopeds. My Buckbeak (a.k.a. the Growler) is clearly the Jeep. Hers was made by Honda, mine by Tomos (in Slovenia, probably in an old Yugo factory). We love ’em both.

Dragonbreath, Buckbeak

Tough hombre biker

We ride, we ride!

“It’s true that writing is a solitary occupation, but you would be surprised at how much companionship a group of imaginary characters can offer once you get to know them.” —Anne Tyler

Sputnik, Half a Century Later

Can it really be fifty years since Sputnik beep-beeped its way around the globe, ushering in the space age and scaring Americans half to death? (The Commies are going to bomb us! Their rockets work, but ours always blow up!) I guess it has been. (By the time I get this up, it’s going to be October 5, but let’s just pretend it’s still October 4, okay? I mean, somewhere in the U.S., it still is.)

Lots has been written in newspapers and elsewhere about the anniversary, but I thought I’d note a few reflections about what Sputnik meant to me, an 8-year-old kid in Huron, Ohio. I remember fear, because the Russkies were ahead of us. But I also remember great excitement, because we were finally in space! (In this part of the brain, it was okay to think of them as being part of us, which was really how I preferred to think of things anyway.) In the long run, the excitement way outweighed the fear. The Space Race was on!

I can still taste the thrill of watching our early rockets lift off, of following every single space mission with intense interest—and I don’t just mean manned space missions. I mean everything. The Echo satellite, a big Mylar balloon that reflected radio waves. Telstar, the first active communications satellite. Ranger and Surveyor to the moon. Mariner to Mars and Venus. I knew all the rockets by shape and size: Delta, Atlas, Titan, Atlas Agena, Atlas Centaur, Saturn. I knew what rockets were coming down the pike. (I’m still waiting for the Nova, which would have dwarfed the Saturn V.) I idolized Werner von Braun. (We didn’t know about the Nazi part then.)

And then, of course, there were the manned missions. I remember our classes at school (6th or 7th grade) being pulled out to go to the room where there was a TV to watch both the scrubbed attempts and finally the launch of Alan Shepherd into space. “Why don’t you fix your little problem and light this candle?” I think I was at home for Gus Grissom’s flight. In school for John Glenn’s. It was a wondrous time. So full of passion and innocence. But I also remember the devastating news of the Apollo 1 fire, which put an end to the innocence. And finally on up to the landing of the Eagle. “Tranquility Base here…” I still get shivers when I watch video footage of Apollo 11’s launch.

Besides engrossing me, one pronounced effect of this ferment of space activity was my passion for reading science fiction. I’m pretty sure the two were linked. As I watched the real space travelers, I had no doubt—one iota of doubt— that our future as a species was in space. I lived that future through the exploits of Tom Swift, Jr. and Tom Corbett, Space Cadet—and of course through the stories of Heinlein and Asimov and Clarke and Leinster and Del Rey and Lesser and Nourse and Norton and White and a hundred others. I never felt that there was anything unreal about these visions of our future in the stars. On those periodic occasions when someone asked me why I didn’t read about real things, I simply didn’t know how to answer; the question made no sense to me.

In a way, it still makes no sense to me. That was the beginning but not the end of my love affair with science fiction, and I have always felt that it was the most real of all kinds of fiction.

Hey, Sputnik—thanks for getting the ball rolling.

“Writing itself is an act of faith, and nothing else.” —E. B. White

Book Signing and Reunion in Ohio

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I spent last weekend in Sandusky, Ohio, where I spent a fair number of hours at the Kalahari Waterpark Resort, signing books—and also enjoyed a reunion with a lot of high school classmates, many of whom I had not seen in forty years. Everyone looked just the same (yeah, just like I do). I sort of, almost recognized a lot of people—especially after we all put name badges on. Everyone greeted me warmly, a little bit like a homecoming celebrity (strange, but nice, I thought); and I finally found out why everyone recognized me so easily. Turns out, a new hometown newspaper whose existence I hadn’t even been aware of had run a nice front-page spread on me that week! I had no idea what people were talking about when they referred to the newspaper article—but finally, just as I was packing up to leave, I was given a copy. Nice!

My wife wasn’t there, so the mice got to play: during the music and dance part of the reunion, I finally danced with all those girls I was too shy to ask to dance with me when I was in high school! (Danced with them all at once, more or less.) The book signing went very well; a few people (not classmates) had even come looking for me, because I’d posted info on my web site. That’s not something that happens every day. I even sold enough books to cover my airfare!

Plus, I brought back five 12-packs of Vernors ginger ale. (Yay!) I had it neatly and securely duct-taped together, but the airline made me buy a box from them to put it in. (Boo!) Hey, Vernors—you make great ginger ale, so how about selling it in New England, so I don’t have to keep doing this, eh?

The following pretty well expresses how progress on my followup book to Sunborn is coming:

“Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.” —Gene Fowler

Incredibly Stupid Engineering by Whirlpool

We have a Whirlpool dishwasher that’s about two years old. It was a gift to us, and we like it very much. But last night it developed its first problem. I found it partway through the wash cycle, not running, with the Clean light blinking. It would respond to nothing I did, including pressing the Cancel button.

Well, my first approach to fixing anything I don’t understand is to google it. That I did, and I found lots of pages on the problem, including one that linked to a tech video showing all of the many things that might be behind it. Fortunately, near the end of that video, they gave the secret code you need to bring your appliance out of its coma. (Press Heated Dry, then Normal, then Heated Dry, then Normal. Voila! Machine back to life.) But that’s not the stupid part.

Here’s the stupid part: The Whirlpool engineers included a test routine in the software that runs the dishwasher. About 8 minutes into the wash cycle, it tests the water temperature to verify that the heating coil is heating the water properly. If it’s not, the dishwasher….well, before I tell you, what do you think it does? Do you think it flashes an alert and completes the cycle making the best of the hot water as it is?

Too logical? Do you think it comes to a complete stop—right in the middle of the wash cycle—and freezes its controls so that nothing works? You win! There you are, with partially washed, detergent-covered dishes, and a machine that has locked itself up until a repairman arrives (or until you google the problem and learn the secret code, whichever comes first). This is by design! In fact, the first tech page I found said, in no uncertain terms, The consumer will not be able to restore operation. And the reason for this intentional lockup (one more time)? The water isn’t heating properly.

The moronicity of this is mind-boggling, and is only highlighted by a note at the end of the video: in later models, in order to reduce the number of nuisance lockups, they changed the software so that it only freezes the machine if the problem occurs three times in a row. So it’s three strikes and you’re out—but we’re not going to tell you about the first two strikes! Oops—your bad! Call a repairman!

Now, call me naïve, call me an optimist, but if it were me designing the software, I’d have it finish washing the fracking dishes, you idiot! And then it could inform us of the problem. (Sir or Madame, our sensors indicate your wash water might not have reached an optimum temperature. We suggest you have this condition looked at.)

Sometimes I am just amazed at the stupidity of the engineering in American-made appliances. How did we ever make it to the Moon? Honestly. (And don’t even get me started about the half-cent gasket in our Calypso—by Whirlpool!—clothes washer that caused flooding twice on our new laundry-room floor.)

Really. Don’t get me started.

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.” —W. Somerset Maugham

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