Why Is Craig Shaw Gardner Writing Dinosaur Porn?

posted in: ebooks, quirky 0

Or is he? I didn’t even know dinosaur porn—excuse me, erotica—existed, until Craig told his tale. It seems his innocent fantasy ebook, Temporary Monsters, was temporarily removed from the shelves of the Amazon Kindle store because—apparently—someone at Amazon thought it might be dinosaur erotica. Craig says no. To quote from his blog: “I therefore state, for the record, that my book contains ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN/DINOSAUR EXTRA-MARITAL INTERACTIONS OF ANY KIND!” Can we trust him? I dunno, he seems to leave in the possibility of human/dino relations within marriage. What does that say?

But as Craig says elsewhere in his blog, go to Amazon and do a search on “dinosaur erotica.” Then read some of the reviews of the books that come up. I don’t know about the books, but the reviews are hilarious.

Then forget that and give Temporary Monsters a try.

Another World Milestone!

My wife Allysen texted me this afternoon to alert me to the arrival of:

11/12/13 14:15

Did I marry the right woman, or what? 

Okay, it only works in parts of the world where dates are expressed as Mo/Da/Yr, but still.

It was kind of a strange day, meteorologically. We had snow flurries in the morning, or so I hear (I was asleep). What’s strange about that is, just a few days ago I was walking around in a short-sleeve shirt. Then, this afternoon, I noticed that the sky was mostly a thick overcast, with a band of clear sky just above the northwest horizon. The demarcation between the overcast and the blue was a ruler-straight line, with no visible movement. I had a great, big-sky view of it as I drove north out of Boston on the elevated freeway.

Several hours later, it looked exactly the same. I took this picture, using the Panorama app on my phone.

Click image to biggify

The line looks curved from the fisheye effect, but in reality it was straight as an arrow shot by the Arrow. Here’s a regular shot.

It was still that way at sunset, when the edge of the overcast was lit with a beautiful pink glow. Wish I’d caught that.

Go, Buckeye Band!

posted in: performances, quirky, videos 0

Back in my high school days in the Buckeye State, I played in my school’s marching band—first on clarinet, then bass drum, then snare drum. I vividly remember how difficult it was to keep our marching lines straight, stepping eight to five*, even when the band was just marching down the field. (*Eight to five means eight measured strides to every five yards.) With that in mind, prepare to be impressed when you watch the Ohio State University Marching Band perform a routine they called the Hollywood Blockbuster Show—especially the T-Rex from Jurassic Park!

You can skip the first minute or so, which is the other band getting off the field. Watch in full screen!

  

Space Beer!

posted in: beer, quirky 0

The indomitable Dogfish Head Brewing Company has done something I’m pretty sure no other brewer has yet attempted: cooked up a special brewsky with real, pulverized moondust in it—Celest-jewel-ale! How’s that for rocket juice, Tom Corbett? I’m sure it has special medicinal qualities! Unfortunately, you can only get it at one location, Dogfish Head’s Rehoboth Beach brewpub. Well, blast my rocket wash!

Here’s my very own Dogfish Head keg tap handle, which I won at a raffle at my favorite beer and wine store

A Bird in the Kitchen…

…is worth how many in the claw? 

I got up this morning to the sound of Captain Jack howling and scrabbling frantically around the living and dining rooms. What I found when I arrived was a terrified bird flying back and forth in the room, arousing great interest from Jack and Moonlight (the cat). Finally it flew into the kitchen, and I managed to get a few pictures.

Who can tell me what kind of bird this is?  Gray, with a spotted underside, and (though you can’t really see it in these shots) a longish, narrow beak. You can biggify by clicking on the images.

I opened the kitchen window screen, and after a few minutes the bird found the opening and shot out of the house like a rocket. I’m still not sure how it got in—maybe through a torn screen in my office, up on the third floor. If so, that meant it found its way down the hall, and down the narrow stairs, before meeting up with the local guards.

All’s well that ends well.

Space Travel for Animals?

Being on retreat doesn’t mean I don’t still get interesting links. First, we have a frog joining the space program, probably not voluntarily:

That’s from The Atlantic, which has more details. This is the recent launch of the LADEE moon probe, on a Minotaur rocket, from Wallops Island, Virginia. Pity the poor creature. But it did have a fleeting moment of glory.

And second, we have some cows who did not seem to enjoy the test launch of a SpaceX Grasshopper rocket. Looks like they didn’t stick around to watch the landing. But you should.

 
A rocket landing on a tail of fire is how God meant us to come back to Earth! All that’s missing is tail fins on the rocket to complete this Golden Age SF vision of space travel.
The retreat is going very well, by the way. Making good progress on the book. 

The Novelist

posted in: quirky, writing 0

No, not me, the video game! Mediabistro reports on a new game featuring as its hero… a novelist. What? On vacation with his family, the writer must make choices about where his priorities lie: His languishing book? His wife? His son? Will he write a great book, and lose his marriage? What about his kid? Damn, doesn’t that send shivers down your spine?

I wish I could play this game at home. Oh wait—I do!

Here’s the video trailer for the game written by Kent Hudson.

Starships! — Best Music Video Since Large Hadron Rap*

I love this celebration of over 50 years of starships and their pilots, by bironic, to the tune of Starships Were Meant to Fly, by Nicki Minaj. For better viewing, pop it up to full screen and wear headphones. For best viewing, download it, copy to a USB thumb drive, and play it on a widescreen TV from your Blu-ray player. You’ll be glad you did. It encapsulates a lifetime of vividly realized star travel, from Forbidden Planet all the way up to the Star Trek reboot. See how many scenes you can recognize. I got most of them, but a few were from shows that escaped me.


Starships! from bironic on Vimeo.

My daughter Julia put me onto this one. I’d never find this sort of thing on my own. Lucky thing I’ve got her to keep me current.

(Here’s the rather different music video apparently created by the singer. I like the one above better.)

Starships rock!

*If you missed the Large Hadron Rap, check it out, too.

Get into the Group Photo: Wave to Saturn and the Cassini Spacecraft!

Friday the Nineteenth is the day the Cassini spacecraft, circling Saturn, will turn its cameras back toward Earth, and NASA and JPL want us to go outside and wave. What a photo op! If you’re in America and standing outside at around 5:30 p.m. EDT, you’ll be in the photo. Look to the east and wave to the open sky!

Here’s the official word on the timing of the shot:
“The Cassini portrait session of Earth will last about 15 minutes from 2:27 to 2:42 p.m. PDT (21:27 to 21:42 UTC).” The Americas will be facing Saturn during that time. Other parts of the world, I’m sorry. Next time.

This is approximately what the view will look like from Cassini when it clicks the shutter. 

Kinda’ Cool Response to Something I Said

I said it about fifteen years ago (maybe more), on my web page Advice to Aspiring Writers: “Write from the soul, not from some notion about what you think the marketplace wants. The market is fickle; the soul is eternal.”

Yesterday, someone quoted those words on a Facebook page called The Writers Circle. I wouldn’t have known about it, except someone emailed me to ask if that was me, and to express agreement. I went to take a look. Yep, that’s my face. (If it’s scrolled off the main page, the entry is here.) There I am, sandwiched between Isaac Asimov and Graham Greene, offering sound bites of alleged wisdom about writing.

Still—I meant what I said back then, and I mean it today.

If someone pushed by asking, “Is that why you wrote a Battlestar Galactica novel?” I might respond this way: First of all, I wrote the BSG novel because I thought it would be fun. Secondly, I would distinguish between guidance offered to a writer struggling to find his or her own voice, and an assignment taken on by a working professional (whether the assignment was just for the bucks, or for fun, or some other reason). Thirdly, if I did take on the BSG book because of what I thought the market wanted, the laugh was on me. It didn’t sell worth beans, despite the large audience for the TV show. (Which led to some interesting speculations among my friends and me about the future of media tie-in books.)

It seems the quote struck a chord, because last time I looked, it had over 3400 “likes” and 777 “shares”! I don’t really “do” Facebook, but I think that’s pretty good.

I read some of the comments, which ranged from “Yes!” to “That’s what I’ve always said,” to “He’s kind of cute,” to “There’s no eternal soul, you idiot.” To which I say, Thank you, thank you, thank you, and yes, I believe there is.

Gotta love the internet.

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